9. The Worth Of Today

You know… I just thought of something. I realized, I never think about how I am. What I mean is when someone asks me “How are you today?” I always take a moment to consider because I really haven’t thought of it. I never really take a moment when I start a new day to acknowledge what my state is, how I’m feeling, what makes the day a new day. If I were feeling the same feeling I’d felt another day before, it wouldn’t be a new day. It would just be reduplication, recycling, or a mirror image of the day before.
Then the next question I should ask is, “What makes the next day a new day?” What happens on all my days that make each one different? Are they successions of each other? Are they independent of each other? I mean, it seems like the last two questions have pretty obvious answers, and it seems like it’s obvious only one is the right question. But then again, both might be true in their own ways.
I wonder how it would be like to be conscious of everything you’d done the day before, and so when you wake up every morning you start your day based on how you did on the last one. In this way, each day would be a succession of the last. That means, today, December 16 of the year 2008, this nth day of my life, is worth every experience I went through for the last n-1 days of my entire life. But if I’m going to take an arithmetic approach to evaluating this hypothesis, then I have to question how these days calculate. Do they add up? Or do they multiply? What is the relationship between each day of this equation? Would I have to add up the days to calculate what exact worth today is? Or would I have to multiply the days? What if there’s a variable in the equation? On second thought…duh. Of course there would be a variable. Of course there would be countless variables!! This arithmetic approach has way too many parts for me to even generalize.